2 months old..

The Diva is already 2 months old!! I can't believe how fast time has flown by. It's really amazing to be watching her grow and thrive, and having that let me know I'm doing a good job. She's smiling like crazy, and yesterday I even got a giggle out her. It only happened once, but it was the sweetest little laugh I've ever heard, and I know it means that more giggles will be making thier way out of her and I can't wait to hear them! She recently found out that she has a hand. She makes a fist and stares out it till she goes crossed eye'd. Wait till she finds out that she actually has 2 hands!!! She HATES the carseat. I have anxiety over it. I hardly take her out because she screams as soon as I put her in it. I take her to my aunts house which is literally 45 seconds away from me. Or I'll take her to brian and dana's because they live about 10 seconds away from me. I'm going to take her for a short ride each day to try and get her used to it. I started today and we went to dunkin donuts. Maybe 3 minutes, with red lights, and she screamed. I thought babies like the car ride.

I thought it would make me a bad mother if I said I couldn't wait to go back to work. And believe me, I'm not rushing that.. I still have 3 and half weeks left... but sometimes it's tough, especially going at this "alone". I use alone in quotes because while I may be labeled as a single mother, I definitely get help from my mom and I thank God for her everyday. I'm literally with the baby 24 hours a day, and I know that it's a mothers job, but it's draining some days. I run out of things to say to the baby, as crazy as it sound. I can only sing so many songs. So I'm glad when my mother comes home from work and takes over for a little bit so I can take a breather. I also think that Avery gets sick of me as well, and is excited when her grandmother comes home to play with her. We all sometimes just need a change of scenery for a little bit at least. I'm not in the least bit excited to have to leave Avery every day when I go to work. Thinking about it now makes me choke up. I'm leaving her with an aunt who along with her sister who babysit out of her sisters house. I'm not worried at all about her being taken care of, but I worry that when I leave her she'll cry because she doesn't know them. I worry about how well she'll nap for them. And I'm worried that she'll cry all day for the first few days that she's there. See, thinking about it really does choke me up because I just shed a tear. But while I'm sad to leave her, I'm kind of excited to start a routine for us. It's nice being home, but there's only so much I can do with her. And while she's there she'll have little friends. There are 2 little ones who are 9 months old, a 2 yr old, 2 kindergarteners, and then a 1st grader who comes after school. She'll be the baby there, and my Aunt told me the older girls are really excited to have her come there so they can get the bottles ready for her when she needs to eat, and they can hand my aunt the diapers when she needs to be changed. I think it's good that she'll be around other kids. I'm also looking forward to having some adult conversation in my life. I love my co-workers, so even though I'm at work, it'll be socialization as well. I'm excited to put on actual clothes since I've been living in sweats and pj's since I started Maternity Leave. And of course the reason why we all work...money. And I need that money so that not only can I provide her with lifes neccessities, but so that when she gets older I can do all the fun things that I don't want her to miss out on. Going to see Disney on Ice, or take her to Sesame Place, and I can't wait to take her to DisneyWorld. I'm going to be one of those Mom's that is more excited then her kid to see Minnie & Mickey.

Tomorrow I take her to the drs for her 2 month check up. I'm excited to see how much she's grown. She was born at 6 lbs 9oz and left the hospital at 6 lbs 4 oz. At her 10 day check up she was 7 lbs 2 oz and at her 1 month appointment she was 9lbs even. She's gotta be at least 11 lbs because I feel like she's a monster. On the downside, she's getting 2 shots. Normally at 2 months they get 4, and even though there is no link to Autism from vaccinations, I'd really prefer to not take any chances. Besides 4 shots is quite alot of shit to pumping into thier little bodies. So with her screaming due to the hatred of the evil carseat combined with 2 shots, I'm sure it'll be an eventful trip.

I guess that's enough rambling...

Check out the Diva on her new playmat.